Excuse me while I trump the sky…

This week I’m starting to think Arthur is playing mind games with me.

At 4am this morning he yelled through to my sleep added brain:”mummy do crabs bite fish”. I’ll be honest I don’t know and as such mumbled back: ” go to sleep, Santa is watching…”. In the cold light of day that line does seem a little creepy. I hope I’ve not planted the seed of a grubby Sanat hiding behind his door. He seemed fine this morning so pretty sure I got away with that one.

Rewind to a long car journey at the weekend. “Mummy what is sky and do we breathe it?” Dear lord he is systematically demolishing the small amount of general knowledge I hold dear. ” Yes” I said, we do breathe it and it’s made up of lots of gases and something called oxygen, and on and on I went.

“Do we trump the sky?” Boom! And there is was. This boy is messing with my mind. Who asks if we trump the sky?! It’s genius. At once childlike and almost completely unanswerable.

There has been a barrage of ridiculous questions and I’m becoming more and more convinced Arthur is on a mission to send me completely mad. Im questioning myself, what the hell do I actually know. I’m Googling crazy stuff and recording documentaries – just in case. I suspect he’s planning to completely break me so access to the ‘treat’ cupboard becomes free and easy. One soul destroying question and I’ll happily let him have five chocolate biscuits to make up for my pathetic guilt-ridden attempts to answer why we have skin and does it come off when we die.

Well done Arthur, you are fascinating, fascinated, and utterly on track for world domination. Me? I’m simpering I the corner with an encyclopaedia.

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