It’s been two weeks since I skulked back into Slimming World wearing very little – anticipating the heave of the scales as I huffed my post – Christmas body on board.
“Two and a half on” said Jean – who’s newly trained on all things weighing following a complaint to head office about the lack of expertise in our little Saturday morning group. Apparently one old age pensioner who’d attempted to join had been unable to buy the SW highfi bars as no one was on ‘shop’ duty, plus his weight had been written down incorrectly.
Quite frankly the bit that stayed with me was it was a little old man who’d emailed SW head office – it was a little cloud of comedy and while others were scowling at this outrageous accusation, I was having a little chuckle to myself.
Anyway, back to the two-and-a-half poundage.
“Well done”, said Jean. I could tell from the sparkle in her eyes that every gain she registered today made her own horrendous Christmas pudge a little easier to bear. I know this because during holy communion ( group discussion) she said she was going on a refresher course following a slight gain. For this I read HQ had ordered her to explain her bulging waistline and no doubt force a six week boot camp under threat of having her SW posters torn down from all lamp posts.
I was quite chuffed with my gain.Curly Wurly hidden in jumpers woman put on five pounds and one, it has to be said humongous lady gained nine. I fear I may have clapped in the wrong place when this was revealed because. Well because that’s just bloody impressive! The woman who stopped taking her depression medication has not been seen for weeks – I suspect she may be under a duvet with a large bar of Dairy Milk preparing poison pen letters to Jean using cut outs from this month’s SW magazine.
So here I am, I’ve lost that weight plus another three and I’m on a roll. I just have to make sure it’s not a sausage one.